Journal | December babies + NYE

Still living like it's summer, the winter addition.

Vlog #7 enjoy - otherwise if you're up for some essay reading, continue below :)

 

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The idea of this time out is to be able to achieve a few things without the pressure to achieve. 

For the longest time my life has been scheduled and organised in a way where I became just such a recluse to the world outside of a small circle. 

For the last three years, it always went a little something like this: uni work, in and out of term time, most holidays spent interning somewhere, invariably be testing for portfolio, indefinitely working every LFW and work my part-time job, i.e. my being revolved around the academic and fashion calendar - already those things overlapped constantly. Although I'd be really excited for projects and loved creating and doing what I do, everyday went by just like it was another and I never stopped, like I can't even recall any given day clearly. And what's crazy, was that I so easily did all of that with little contact to the world outside (besides when working my part time job but bar tending - coming into contact with people at a.m. times does't count). That was pretty much it, I dedicated everything to work and I got what I wanted, some ok work on my CV and a 1st honours degree, but then what. I realised this was the rest of my life, nothing will ever be enough and I would forever be chasing...

After having the summer I had, I came to alot of conclusions, If my life ended tomorrow, what have I dedicated my life to? What use have I made of my time. How much have I given? Did I even spend time with people that really mattered? Do I even have my own voice? Have I just been doing what was expected? I realised that I need to take a break, a 9-5 job, at least something where my days off would be off - and not spent on call or still on the computer working away. I want to be able to do spontaneous road trips and see friends any day of the week - I wan't to fit into other people's schedules! I want this year to not be about how I'm contributing to my future, necessarily. 

I mean to re-define achieve, re-define how I count moments. Put the focus back onto intentions and the right motivations. God has been so gracious in giving me the past three years as they were - I wouldn't change things - but I also think it's time to move on. You know when you take a vacation from work and you come back re-energised and knowing that the lack of work re-imprinted some sort of a affirmation that you're so lucky to be doing what you love? Well I'm taking a mental vacation. 

You know if you know.

As this blog was set up to document my creative journey, I wanted to share this video with you, my journey right now is steady... I still feel like I could move faster, but meanwhile - on the side - I feel ready to take on work again. In a calm, yet complete insane place of my life. I have no idea what I'm doing or what my next moves are, my plans are all out the window since I took this turn in life. I love being here. And I'm working on a few new projects!

TBC.

 

In God we trust,

Sx